By: Juliet Godwin
I’m someone for whom it takes a while to make real, close friends. I usually form stronger connections with people over time, but those connections are something I value above all else and crave when I don’t have them. I’m also someone who values my time spent alone, so not being with friends at every moment isn’t something that I dislike; I would even say that it’s something I need periodically. But eventually I always want to connect again.
It took me a while to make a few really close friends in high school, and in college I’ve found myself in the same situation. I know that there is nothing wrong with this; I even think it can make for the best kind of relationships if it suits you, and I value their friendship a lot. But it can be difficult when my close friends aren’t around and I want to be with people. I’ve been trying to get better at making and maintaining more casual friendships, but it’s all kind of difficult and at times lonely for me.
This summer, I haven’t gotten to spend that much time with my close friends from high school because our work schedules never seemed to line up. I’m not worried that we won’t remain friends throughout college, but I am sad that it seems like everyone in the world is with their friends but me. It’s dumb, but I guess I’m just annoyed about it having taken so long for me to make friends that I love in high school and now needing to start all over in college. Eventually I’ll have to start all over when I graduate. This isn’t to say that I won’t keep being friends with my friends now when we are apart, but we all need friends where we actually live as well. Enjoying time by myself doesn’t mean I want to be alone all of the time, after all. It’s difficult to go from seeing your best friends everyday, trapped in the same place with them for eight hours a day, five days a week, to hardly seeing them at all. Spending that much time with even the people I wasn’t close friends with created a community that I knew. I know that this will come with time in college and in every new environment I become a part of, but repeating the process is just a lot for me, I guess.
I was going to call this post “Staying in Touch” because I thought I was going to write more about staying close with friends that I used to see everyday and now live far away from, but it took a little bit of a different direction. This is just the way I’ve been feeling lately, I guess. I hope it wasn’t too depressing of a post and was maybe even a little bit relatable!